The children’s response

October 24, 2009 ANS
Tags: children. response, shave

One aspect of this project that I didn’t give  a lot of consideration to was the response or effect on my children. I knew that dear husband may struggle with the concept but didn’t think that the children would think twice about it, how I was wrong, and again reminded of the effects that having cancer and starting treatments and losing hair would have on anyone fighting the illness.

I have 4 children, 6-7y/o in 2 weeks, 4 and a half, 2 and a half and 9 months. I have already gone from having long hair past my shoulders to having shorter hair and no-one reacted much but when I broke the news that I was going to shave my head, their responses were quite different. I think that their reactions may be part related to age, gender perhaps, and of course personality.

My eldest (male) was fairly quiet and didn’t react much at all, he asked the universal question, “why?” and then just continued with his morning. Despite this, to my surprise when I was putting him to bed with a story later that night he said, “I don’t want you to shave your hair mummy, I love you looking like this”. This was the first tine that I felt slight guilt and realisation that I am in fact bringing my children on this journey with me and will have to manage it accordingly. Perhaps he will be embarrassed, confused, even scared? I guess the realisation that cancer fighters must have, or perhaps at the time don’t have; the realisation that they are not on their journey alone, that everyone around them boards the emotional roller coaster with them. I spoke to him in more detail and explained how it is only hair and fortunately could provide him with all the reasons as to why. He is now temporarily okay with the idea, a part of his personality- if there is a reason he usually can accept things, a reason, something I would not have been able to provide if I actually had been diagnosed with cancer.

My little lady; the one girl amongst all our boys. She id 4 and a half and seems quite preoccupied with looks and fashion. She doesn’t comment on ugly and beautiful as  guess she’s still a bit young, yet she is Ms Fashion. Her shoes match her dress, which usually has been carefully chosen to match her underwear. Once she cried all day at preschool because I wouldn’t let her do the mad dash inside to change her dress just before we departed home. Everyone was amazed, “there must be something wrong, she never carries on, she’s usually so happy, she must be getting sick, take her home and give her a quiet day at home if you like, it’s so out of nature”, NO, it was ALL about the dress. She stayed at preschool and all day until pick up time confirmed that the devastating state of affairs, was in fact the dress. So as you can see this is where I expected the objections, she has already been very forward in telling me that she doesn’t like my hair short as opposed to further down my back, and she cut her own hair as she was told it would then grow faster and she desperately wants locks to her bottom. However surprisingly all she has said to date is,

“I’m not shaving my hair!”

The two year old, the character of the lot. He doesn’t speak much yet and I’d say won’t give me much until I do it. My forecast is that he won’t mind. Dear husband has shaved hair and I guess at two-ish he doesn’t make the stereotype of male/ female hairstyles. And our last little bundle of joy, the 9 month old smiles at people’s souls. He is the most amazingly happy baby, he even held a smile when he was injected with his 6 month old needles. I honestly believes he looks beyond the skin and hopefully I am correct to believe that he will greet me with the cheeky, wide gummy smile that he always does, perhaps not quite as gummy by the time March rolls around.

I guess we’ll see as time goes on.
In thanks for all our happy, healthy, beautiful children

Soon to be shaved Shan- xoxo

Entry Filed under: Pre-shave

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